Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Life Stuffs - Becoming Engaged & My Dad has Dementia


Soooo if u may not have already guessed from my recent instagram posts of my wedding shoe shopping and scouting charity shops at wedding dresses Me and the boy got engaged!

It actually happened last month, nothing romantic or exciting tales of going down on one knee or anything, was just very quick and private hence why I have waited this long to say anything as wanted to get the main things such as booking the venue and stuff done and dusted cus we are planning to get married very soon - this October! eeek! 



We have been together 6 years, lived together for the last 5 and a half and felt like it was ready to make the next step. Main reason its gonna be very rushed it due to my Dads (who has dementia) condition. 

He has suffered from dementia now for about 7 years. Not many people seem to know to much about dementia apart from the fact it causes memory loss. This is just scraping the surface. 

He always used to forget our names (me and my sisters) , lose his keys and just be generally forgetful, but soon he was misplacing things around the house, slurred speech. going in to mini trances and losing train of thought really easily. My aunt (his sister) came to visit one day and and was concerned at his slurred speech and advised him to go to the doctor. 

A few months later my dad was diagnosed with dementia. They had run many tests on him to do with speech, blood tests, and memory tests of which my dad couldn't even name the prime minister. 



Since then my dad was forced to take early retirement and immediately had to stop driving so the car was sold and my mum quit her job to become a full time carer. Dad now is very different to the dad I had growing up. He dosent know how to communicate with us anymore. For the last year or so we have to mime things to help him understand and lead him around to walk as he's not sure where we're going if we are out and about. He can't wash himself, has to be helped to eat and drink. He can't have a conversation anymore and can only mumble or shrug and if you talk to him it's like the lights are on but no ones home.

On the bright side though he has taken a huge fondness to dancing (dad dancings gonna be huge at this wedding!) and he does still laugh so long as you mime whatever funny story ur trying to tell or smile when u are saying it. Its like having ur dad as a two year old.

I come from a close family where marriage and family life is very important and it was my biggest dreams was for my dad to give me away when I got married and couldn't bear the thought of him not being able to attend or not come as he may start to not recognise us as he is getting worse very quick now. 

My mum wasn't sure that if we got engaged now and waiting about a year before getting married he would be able to make it so we thought we would quickly get married this year.I would rather have my whole family there then feel like a huge part of me was missing. 

We are very gonna be very budgety and low key for the ceremony which will be held locally. We are going to have a honeymoon after to Italy on the Amalfi coast and Rome and then next year do some travelling to Japan as we already had planned.


We are planning on getting married in October so expect a few wedding shopping related posts between now and then! This month booking and sending invites is my no.1 priority though then in August we will move on to the dress. :)

Love, Sarah x

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